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Long tresses have been a signature of my style for my entire life. One day I will give the bob-chop a college try but for now I simmer in the long hair pool of expectations. This requires many hours of care and planning. Honestly, your have no idea the minutes I have invested in this feminine ideal. I must like it. Perhaps I feel forced to participate in beauty rituals as a method of masochism. The book "The Beauty Myths: How Images of Beauty are Used against Women" has long been on my must read list. Naomi Wolf's classic tomb was first published in 1990 and at that point in my life I was not allowed to wear make up. However I was extremely aware of my hair's shininess and my skins monochrome glow. Although I took pride in my appearance it did not give me confidence. I believe that's alright so long as I have access to self esteem through my own means. Yet the question remains why do I take so much time on my hair even though the benefit it bring is negligible? Personally its makes me feel healthy and alive to have a nice hair do.
Why else would I wash comb and set this hair of mine? Does long hair make you live longer - not really. Perhaps there is something to the notion that these ideals of beauty such as long hair bring some social currency which is helpful to my basic needs like food and shelter. Yet, I feel confident that my basic needs are met and I still long to participate in beauty ritual and recognition. I know - its the inner connection with feminine heroism and long locks. There is a collective vision of female winners which includes their hair being shiny and bouncy. I will not tussle with history and attempt to rewrite the vision of what has been. Luscious hair is a marvelous thing.
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Perhaps the hair is a security blanket a stand in for the motherly love I longed for but never received. The drama of long hair is well documented. Yes I am noticed anytime I walk somewhere because the tresses are a conversation pice. Can I be a casual feminist someone that believes in equal pay but colludes with objectification and a fem bot all at once? Certainly I am on the verge of hypocrisy in coalescing these two enemies. Its a bad habit long hair. Some attachment to my neglectful youth and recalcitrant parents, a way in which I soothe my present self into connecting with my past self as proof that everything which happened to me back then was good.
Perhaps I do not need to know why the siren call of long hair still stirs me. Never the less I like to ponder my consumer decisions in the moment.
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